Ev Famous in the World
As soon as I stepped off the plane, one of the school's owners commented on my resemblence to "Da Shan," a mythical Canadian whose perfect Chinese has made him a household name for most of the country. Little did I know that this resemblence would be exploited in the form of an ad for the school. However, given the Chinese predelection towards piracy, I was constantly expecting to see my picture used in advertisements for underwear or penis enlargements.
By and by, the Chinese think that Westerners all look alike. Touche. Actually, by the time I left China, I myself started to mix up Westerners that I met: I found it easier to keep track of Mongolian eyes and shapes of faces than I did to keep tabs on hair and eye color. In retrospect, I can understand the amazement of the locals; not everyone believed I was the celebrity, but many of them placed bets with friends and demanded that I resolve the dispute. For the record, Da Shan has nothing to worry about since my Chinese ability remains safely plebian.
I hosted an English competition in Zhong Shan square (the center of Shenyang and home to the largest statue of Mao Ze Dong in the world). It took me over an hour to leave the square because of the throngs of school children asking for autographs and countless curious observers who pushed through the mass to see the "celebrity."
I grew a beard and let my hair grow long. I have this strange quality: I don't look like myself, so this incognito tactic proved extremely effective. Only once did I a girl come running after me yelling "EXCUSE ME! Do you speak English?" I looked her in the eye and calmly answered "No."
I got a haircut and donned the special suit when I hosted a television quiz show, but no such dangerous uncloaking was required for radio spots and voice overs. The school's ad was in several sizes, most of them standard billboard size, but there were a few bigger. On the roof of a building downtown was a likeness of Yours Truly that was 5 stories tall. When taking the train, this was the only sign I needed to see to know that I was back in Shenyang.
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